Gun Girl, After Action Report

Gun Girl. We started communicating rather early in the whole process. We emailed consistently for almost 3 months. Finally got the nerve to ask for a number and she gave it to me. So began the most epic game of phone tag ever. It got to the point where I gave up. She sent an email saying goodbye and I replied apologizing for the lack of communication. We started emailing and trying to call each other again but it phone tag continued. Finally she got frustrated and suggested Lunch half way (we lived about 2 hours away from each other). I countered with dinner at a later date since I would be in her neck of the woods anyway.

Dinner was great easy to talk to, beautiful, funny. I emailed her and asked her out again and she agreed, this time a burger joint and a show afterwards. Didn't make it to the show as she had to be up early but again, dinner was great. I called and asked her out again. She agreed again. Pizza and a movie. Fun times. I asked her out again that night and she said she would get back to me. At this point I figured I would never see her again. To my surprised she called a few days later and agreed. So we met up at an Oktoberfest type thing and had a good time. I called the next day and left a message. She called back the next day and we chatted for a while. I asked her if she was doing anything a couple weeks out and she was going home for the holidays. I then asked if she was doing anything that Friday. She said she was busy all weekend. And so it goes.

Lessons Learned
1) Nice people have trouble saying no. Gun girl was a very nice person. I would almost characterize the dates as pity dates. This characterization is more a function of my own insecurities (she was gorgeous, why she kept agreeing to go out with me was baffling).
2) Fate favors the bold. I never kissed her. I never tried to kiss her. In 4 dates. I'll let that sink in a bit... yeah stupid huh? Well I have various reasons, all of them flimsy and weak. She never initiated ANY physical contact with me. Nonverbal communication was screaming "DON'T TOUCH ME." arms always folded, she was always just far enough away that to try to kiss her would be way to obvious and inappropriate. I would touch her arm and her back, but the touching was never reciprocated. I chalked it up to her prudishness, but I just think she wasn't interested in me.
3) Driving 2 hours to see her came off as weak and needy. Fuck driving that far for anybody. If they want to see me, they can drive to me.

On a side note, I named her gun girl due to her take on guns. She loves the movie You've Got Mail. In it, one of the characters laments how she could never be with someone who owns a boat. Well this is how gun girl framed the gun issue. I listed shooting as a hobby of mine. It is something I enjoy and I do own several firearms. Gun girl basically said she could never be with someone who owned firearms. I replied with how the opposite character in the movie replied: "I own guns, so I guess that means we will never be together." How right I was. She relented and backed down obviously and went out on 4 dates with me.

So yeah, I'm bummed out again. I hate dating. Still going to do. No choice, it's self-destructive without being fattening

ADDENDUM: I received an email from gun girl about a month after our last conversation. Seems she's a sucker for the whole unresolved and closure thing. Basically said the same thing as every other girl who has ever dumped me said: not the girl for you, you're a great guy, stay friends, blah blah blah. I replied saying I already knew what she revealed in her email and already considered the matter "resolved." She replied that she was genuinely interested in remaining in contact and she hoped I would stay in touch. Fat Fucking Chance.

2nd Grade Girl - After Action Report

I also met 2nd grade girl early on in the process. I met her prior to meeting PhD girl. I simply forgot about it. Clearly she made an impression. Matched up through eharmony. She looked cute enough in her pictures. We emailed for a while before she dropped off the face of the earth for about 2 weeks. She suddenly turned up again and gave me her real email address and phone number. We started talking. She seemed cool enough. Laughed at all my funny quips and one liners. Eventually, if not awkwardly, I asked her out for drinks. She agreed and we met up.

Well her pictures were not quite representative of how she looked now. She was fun enough to hang out with. However she had a patronizing quality about her I found grating. She would often talk to me like I was one of her second graders. Jokes that would have made her laugh on the phone now seemed to annoy her. Perhaps I wasn't quite what she expected either.

At the end of the night I walked her to her car, we chatted a bit and then left. I never called her back. She never called me back. I think the unattraction was mutual.

Lessons Learned:

• Drink dates are good for vetting purposes. They are cheap and allow me to be chivalrous without spending a small fortune on dinner and show. Coffee or Alcohol is fine, it also leaves open the possibility of turning it into a dinner date.
  
• Phone chemistry never equals in-person chemistry. Ever.
• beware the 30+ year old females with really good pictures.